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People tend to like helping nice, friendly people – people who are caring, selfless, and trustworthy. Those traits can win over the most difficult, reluctant people.

Since there’s an art to honing the friendly powers of persuasion, here are five ways to start being more persuasive today. But remember, persuasion isn’t about being selfish or manipulating people; we shouldn’t exploit or abuse this power to meet our selfish needs.

Be Confident

Believe in what you want and why you want it, and be confident that you deserve it. Let the reasons why you want it to be uplifting.

Believing in what you want and being confident you deserve it makes the person you’re asking feel confident and subconsciously influences them to give you what you want.

According to a study by the University of Leicester, “the single significant behavioral difference between persuaders and persuadees was in the expression of confidence.” (The Jury Method: How the Persuader Persuades, published in Public Opinion Quarterly, 1970.

Your ability to persuade others starts with your level of confidence. The more confident you are, the more persuasive your appeal is.

How can you be more confident? Choose to act more confident. Take a deep breath, smile, be helpful and agreeable, and show them what you’ve got!

Just ensure you’re not arrogant, and don’t be pushy because you’ll come across as entitled or cocky, which are big turn-offs.

Have Logical Reasons

Although many people are persuaded by their feelings, most use logic to support their decisions.

Suppose you want a co-worker to help with a project or to get caught up with a pile of work. Initially, they’ll resist you and say they’re too busy with their own stuff.

Explain why they’re the best person to help you, which is why you’re asking. And then mention that by working together, you’ll both finish your work faster, making the boss and the company happy.

Words Matter

It makes sense that some words are more persuasive than others, and those are the ones you want to use.

For example, ‘reasonable’ sounds so much better than ‘okay,’ and a ‘lucrative’ deal is much better than saying, “it’s a good deal.”

You don’t have to memorize a list of “persuasive words.” Just be mindful that words matter; some are more influential than others.

Think about what you want to say, and then choose words that communicate the heart and spirit of your message.

You’ll be a more skillful communicator and sound more intelligent, confident, and coherent —all of which make you more trustworthy and, ultimately, more influential; it’s called the power of rhetoric.

Point Out How The Other Person Will Benefit

People gravitate towards friendly people who seek win-win situations because everyone always asks, “What’s in it for me?”

Let’s say you have to move and want your friends to help, but you know that no one likes the headache and hassle of moving; it’s a pain and a lot of work.

But, if you tell them you’ll be giving a lot of your stuff away, they might be more inclined to help you. Or tell them you don’t expect them to do it for free – that dinner is one you at their favorite restaurant.

Make it a win-win. Don’t just take; give back.

Find Something To Affirm Or Compliment

Some people flatter people to get what they want. So be careful with this tactic because it can make you seem manipulative.

Find something about them or their work that you can compliment or affirm. Remember, this isn’t a bribe.

Give them sincere, appropriate compliments that build them up and boost their self-confidence; make them feel good about themselves. When they see your heart, they’ll listen, and consider what you’re asking.

Treating others how you want to be treated is a good rule to remember when persuading someone to do what you want. Be confident, have good reasons, choose your words carefully, emphasize how they will benefit from this partnership, and build them up because when you do all of these things, people will naturally want to help you because they can see that you’re a good person who gives back.

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Life is hectic; whether rushing to get the kids to school or yourself to work, you can fall behind fast and play catch up the rest of the day. The day can feel like a total loss before it even begins.

It’s hard to keep your precious minutes from being robbed.

We all face similar challenges with work and life demands and relationships to nurture. And it’s easy for any of the three to intrude on our schedule, especially since they’re so important.

One of the Biggest Time Robbers

Failing to organize and manage our time is a massive time thief. Life happens, but even so, we must structure our day. 

How often have you started the morning with a prioritized list of things to do, but by the end of the day, only one or two items have been crossed off because of the unexpected?

You get everyone up, get dressed, and make breakfast. Afterward, you go to load the dirty dishes in the dishwasher but realize it hasn’t been emptied or you’ve run out of dishwasher soap, so you put it on the list and keep plugging away—no big deal. While getting a glass of water before opening your laptop to start your project, you notice the kids have left their dirty clothes all over the floor; you spend twenty minutes sorting clothes and starting laundry. As you wander from room to room, you see a light bulb that needs to be changed or something to be put away.

By the end of the day, you’ve changed a lightbulb, put a few things away, taken unexpected calls, and replied to emails, but the dishes are still dirty, and you never got around to your project, your top priority for the day. 

Whatever your circumstances might be, sticking to a schedule isn’t easy. 

It’s time to take charge of your time and manage your schedule to increase your effectiveness and improve how you feel at the end of the day.

It’s important to be aware of how you feel throughout the day and at the end of the day because if you feel overwhelmed and stressed, your productivity will suffer, not only that, you just won’t feel happy about your life. 

Organizing our time realistically (not cramming too much into the day) helps boost feelings of productivity and reduces burnout and stress.  

Time Management Strategies

Successful leaders and entrepreneurs see time management strategies as tools, and they use them. Is their execution always perfect? No, but at least they have a plan.

They start with the end in mind and work backward, setting goals accordingly. Once they’ve set goals, they schedule tasks in their calendar and do everything within their power to stick to their plan, ruthlessly saying no to anything that doesn’t move them forward, if at all possible.  

They notice how much time it takes to complete specific tasks so they can organize their time more efficiently in the future. 

Time is a kind of currency that we spend to make dreams come true. Sometimes, we can delegate tasks to free up time. 

Other Major Time Wasters

Email can be a huge waste of time if checked every ten or fifteen minutes throughout the day. Turn off notifications, and check email only two or three times during the day if you’re industry allows it.

Social media, mindless surfing, and games are time wasters, too. Do those things after you’ve met your priorities unless social media and researching stuff is essential to your job. Otherwise, leave those things for the evening. 

Commit

Time robbers will always be with us, but that doesn’t matter because we’re in charge of our time. 

Organizing our time and using it wisely is our responsibility. 

Time = life.

Commit to using your time wisely and effectively to get the most from your daily activities and have enough time to spend with your family, friends, and things that matter so you can have the time and energy to unlock your best life.  

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It’s easy to assume we’re not as good as others or inadequate or unable to be loved. It’s hard to bring out the best in others when we have such a low opinion of ourselves. It’s hard to help others succeed when we believe we’re a failure. 

You can be the catalyst that helps people see the best in themselves – the hero that picks them up and helps them stand tall. 

Here are some ways to bring out the best in others. 

Be Generous

You must invest yourself in others to bring out their best. 

Invest your time, energy, and strength. 

Be generous in giving them the benefit of the doubt; believe in them, even when they fail or disappoint you; and be generous with your encouragement when they struggle to believe in themselves.

It’s easy to stand behind the winners of the world and cheer them on; anyone can do that. But it takes courage and compassion to help someone unearth the talents and gifts buried deep within, especially when they’re unaware they’re even there. 

Be Graciously Open-Minded

In other words, don’t write people off. 

Talent can take the form of the humblest people in the lowliest stations of life. 

Just because someone doesn’t look the part or seem to have very much to offer doesn’t mean they don’t have talents or gifts. We should treat everyone with dignity and respect, even the person outside our car window at the stop light holding a cardboard sign that says, “Please help, need food.” 

Perhaps the greatest talent of all is looking deeper into people, observing them, and identifying hidden talents waiting to be unlocked. 

Imagine the kind of world we’d have if we all tried to see the best in people, despite appearances, which can be misleading. 

Be Interested & Interact

To bring out the best in others, be interested in their lives, and interact with them. Be there for them. Collaborate with them to find ways and opportunities to deploy their gifts and talents. 

You don’t have to be the smartest or most capable person. You just have to let them know that you value them and the world needs them – that their gifts and talents matter. 

Be Patient & Persistent

The person you’re working with can be easily distracted and discouraged because unlocking their best takes a new level of belief and commitment.

Also, they can come to rely on you too much, expecting you to do most of the work rather than making an effort and taking the initiative to unlock their potential because of self-doubt or they don’t believe they have much to offer.

You must be patient and persistent, not letting them give up on themselves. But you shouldn’t do their work for them either because it stunts their growth, and they’ll never learn how to develop their gifts and abilities, reach their goals, or be proud of the person they’re becoming.  

Be Fully Present & Curious

Unless you’re fully present and aware, it’s easy to miss or overlook talent and potential when you see it.

Look for the slightest evidence or clues regarding someone’s true ability because chances are they don’t see what they’re capable of and live far beneath their potential; even so, there’ll be clues. 

So be curious. Be interested in people enough to discern what lies beneath the surface. And let them know you care, too – that you want what’s best for them. 

Summary

Bringing out the best in others involves seeing what they can become and helping them see it. It’ll take awareness, curiosity, being fully present, patience, generosity, and open-mindedness. 

But the investment and effort are worth it.

Imagine the kind of world you can create right where you are by bringing out the best in the people around you by helping them unlock their best life. 

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And self-control is “restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.”

Imagine the kind of life you could unlock if you were that person. 

Well, you don’t have to imagine because here are ways to strengthen your powers of willpower and self-control. 

Willpower

Strength starts on the inside.

Will power is having the will to act – to follow your heart and bring your vision and dreams to life!

Willpower is the courage to face your inner conflicts and temptations and make them subject to your vision, plans, and goals.

It’s the discipline to stop doing what’s keeping you stuck in the kind of life you don’t want and do what you must to unlock your best life, even when you’d rather be doing something else right now because what you want for yourself, in the long run, means so much more to you! 

So you go to the gym or take a run, schedule your day before going to bed, or take charge of your finances and make a plan and budget to get out of debt to secure a stable financial future. 

Living the life you desire takes heart and soul. But the power of decision issues comes from the command center of your brain, the prefrontal cortex (PFC). It’s the part of the brain responsible for regulating our behavior and decision-making abilities.

The quality of your decisions and ability to follow through depends on the quality and strength of your PFC. 

To strengthen your willpower, strengthen your prefrontal cortex by:

• Eating a nutritious, well-balanced diet
• Exercising 3–5 times a week
• Getting quality sleep each night
• Managing stress

Replenish Your Willpower Regularly

Experts claim we start the day with only so much willpower; the more we use, the less we have; willpower runs out fast.

Think of it this way. Willpower is like a muscle we train at the gym that fatigues from repetitive use and overload, but that’s what it takes to build muscle; same with willpower. 

How to Replenish and Condition Your Willpower

To condition and sustain your willpower, practice these tips to keep it replenished: 

1. Center and ground your soul daily with prayer and meditation. 
2. Learn breathing techniques to reduce stress and be calm.
3. Practice daily affirmations to keep your vision front and center. 
4. Do the important things NOW and schedule other stuff for later.  
5. Avoid addictive substances that alter your mind and weaken the PFC, like alcohol, nicotine, and too much sugar.
6. Disconnect from screens and the virtual world. Live YOUR life!

Self-Control

Willpower + self-control = a powerful, almost unstoppable life.

Self-control is “restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.”

Do you use willpower to direct self-control, or self-control to direct your willpower to create the outcome you want?

Some say that we use self-control to direct our willpower. Regardless, there’ll be times when we must choose not to do something, like refraining from supersizing our meal or passing on the chocolate cake when trying to lose weight. 

It also means we’ll have to do certain things to manifest our vision and intentions and get things done, especially when we don’t feel like it because it’s unpleasant, not fun, or uncomfortable. 

Success takes sweat and effort, which usually involves an uncomfortable process. So what? Being 100% comfortable 100% of the time isn’t the most important thing in life. Growth = expansion; being stretched doesn’t always feel good. 

Ego Depletion

Each time you use self-control, which is your power to make the better choice in the moment of decision, it diminishes, just like willpower. 

Experts refer to this as ‘ego depletion,’ and it happens because you spend most of your waking hours making decisions and exerting your willpower, which can leave you feeling depleted and exhausted at the end of the day (and prone to make poor decisions in the evening hours that you’ll regret the next day).

How to Replenish and Condition Self-Control

You can reduce the impact and effects of ego depletion by improving your level of self-control. 

Many techniques used to boost your willpower are the same for self-control, like getting good sleep and managing stress, while others are slightly different.

Have a look at these ways to replenish and condition your power of self-control: 

1. Be your own best friend by practicing self-compassion.
2. Take charge of your emotions and urges instead of letting them control and regulate your life. 
3. Become more aware of your wants and needs and acknowledge them to direct your attention and energy toward self-improvement.
4. Manage your time and energy more efficiently by intentionally organizing your time to support YOUR life and dreams.
5. Create short and long-term goals to stay motivated, with daily tasks to cross off important milestones every week, two weeks, month, and every quarter. 

Your Life Is Within Reach…

The life you’ve wanted to live is within reach. It’s never too late to get started, no matter how many times you’ve started and stopped in the past. Who cares! Just start living today! 

You’ve been blessed with the amazing powers of self-control, willpower, and free will! But no one will unlock your best life for you; that’s something only you can do. You’re stronger and more capable than you realize. Use your God-given powers to start living the life of your dreams today.

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How well do you know yourself?

Are you living your life or the life someone else expects you to live?

Self-awareness requires soul searching. So here are five great tips for getting to know yourself better so you can start living an epic life in 2022.  

Tip #1: Be Still

When did you last sit alone in a comfortable chair without any distractions? No phone, tablet, TV, or computer. Nothing. Just you and silence. Quiet, meaningful, uncomfortable self-reflection.

Being alone with our thoughts and feelings is difficult; the mind is untamed and the heart wild. 

Unplugging from the external world to plug into the soul is uncomfortable but necessary, perhaps even disturbing, and a bit messy. 

Still, it’s an essential step in the process of getting to know thyself. 

So be brave. Take time to be still and listen and observe yourself. Think of it as a form of mindfulness meditation where you focus entirely on the present moment.

Tip #2: Ask Friendly Questions

Talk to yourself as you would a friend. Give negative self-talk a vacation day. You can resume beating yourself up tomorrow if you’d like. But today, give yourself a little grace. Be kind. Show empathy. The best way to do that is by asking self-discovery questions to be acquainted with who you are at your core. 

Write your answers on post-it notes and put them on the wall next to your bed or bathroom mirror. Or write them in a journal. Experts say journals are one of the most effective tools of self-awareness.

These are important questions to ask. Take all the time you need to answer. Don’t be surprised if it takes several days; it’s worth it.

• What are my core values?
• Who’s my biggest role model? Why – what do I admire about them?
• What makes me feel safe? Or Who?
• What are my short-term and long-term goals?

Tip #3: Identify Your Strengths

You were born with a set of gifts, talents, and strengths. Nestled somewhere within is your superpower. Combined, they are a glimpse into your calling; you are here for a purpose. 

Realizing what you’re good at is essential to the journey of discovering who and what you are. It’s empowering!

Focusing on your strengths boosts self-confidence and increases your drive to achieve more. It points your energy and attention in a certain direction where you find yourself saying yes to what gives you meaning and no to that which takes your further away from who you are and your calling.

And let’s also remember that it’s just as important to discover what you’re not good at. Eagles are good at soaring high but would lose every time in a foot race with a Cheetah, or even a slow, three-legged dog, for that matter.

Lean into your strengths. Prioritize your time, energy, and effort around what you’re good at. 

Don’t worry if it isn’t clear all at once. It’s okay if the picture of “you” is a little fuzzy. Give yourself permission to try different things. Through trial and error, you’ll identify what you’re good at and what you should steer clear of.

Interestingly enough, your strengths will almost always align with your core values. Together, they will help you navigate your life path at home and work.

Tip #4: Discover Your Passion

Now that you have an idea of what you’re good at let’s find out what excites you. What makes your soul feel alive? What do you enjoy? What do you love? What would you do for free? It can be one thing or twenty.

Passion fuels your purpose and strengths. It gives your life meaning and challenges you to achieve new goals.

Passion is positive energy; it ignites your soul and life’s work. It drives you to grow and unlock your best life, to have, do and become more. Without passion, you’re not really alive. There are far too many people on this planet “fueled” by complacency. Don’t ever let yourself be one of them. And if you are one of them, let this be the day you came to life.  

Tip #5: Determine Your Sense of Style

This might not make sense but let’s talk about fashion for a second. Your style is an expression of your individuality. It gives people a glimpse of who you are; it’s an insight into your likes and interests. Figuring out your style boosts self-confidence.  

Sort your wardrobe. Keep what you feel is a true reflection of who you are. Donate anything that doesn’t make you feel attractive and confident.

For inspiration, check out fashion styles online and in magazines. Pinterest is great too. Find a style you feel is a reflection of your true self. Have fun!

This form of self-care does wonders for your self-esteem. And you’ll feel good and look amazing! 

In Conclusion

Know thyself to live an epic life in 2022. Use these five tips to start excavating your true self that might be buried under other people’s wants, needs, and expectations. 

You don’t need anyone’s approval to live YOUR life! Spend time in self-reflection to become acquainted with who you are so you can finally start feeling comfortable in your own skin. 

Prioritize your time, energy, and effort around your strengths and passions.  

When you know who you are and what you want from life, the only thing that can hold you back is you and your imagination. 

So, be bold and dream big in 2022 to unlock YOUR best life!

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It can be more than one person. You can have positive role models for your personal and professional life or your intimate relationship.

They influence how you see life and motivate and inspire you to do and be better.

Why It’s Important to Have a Role Model

Positive role models influence our choices and decisions. They inspire us to hang in there and overcome obstacles; their life story comforts and encourages us. Because they do better, we do better.

A good role model is someone with a set of strong and healthy core values. They’re humble and take responsibility for their decisions, good or bad, and learn and grow from them. They don’t make excuses, blame, or whine.

As we model their example appropriately, we begin doing things we never thought we could do.

What Not To Do

No one is perfect. You know this. There’s a big difference between “worshipping” someone and “modeling” them.

A positive role model is someone who gets back up after they fail and keeps going. They understand that failure and mistakes are just a part of the learning process – in fact, they’re essential to success.

How someone deals with failure and loss reveals volumes about their character and whether you should even consider them as a role model.

Positive role models consider mistakes as a learning experience. They make mistakes and failures work to their advantage, transforming them into stepping stones on their way to success.

They might not be happy about “failing,” but they take it in stride. Find a role model who views failure as nothing more than an “experiment” on the way to success.

Everyone fails. But not everyone picks themselves up and keeps going with an optimistic mindset and a positive expectation that things will get better and are wiser for it.

Become a Better You

If you’ve been comparing yourself to others, please stop.

Focus on your strengths, gifts, and things that you’re good at. Invest your energy into things that matter most to your growth so you can unlock your best life.

Make a list of your set of core values.

Write down your short-term and long-term goals.

Be proud of your achievements! Celebrate. And keep growing. Don’t get comfortable.

The only person you ever need to prove anything to is YOU.

Trust yourself. Be confident in who and what you are as you work to create the life you want to live.

These are some of the most important things we can learn from positive role models.

Don’t Give Up

Persevere. Some days will go according to plan. Other days will feel like a total train wreck. Gain inspiration from your positive role model during these times by seeing how they battled back from frustration and disappointment. Keep working hard towards achieving your goals.

A good role model teaches you the importance of consistency, never giving up, and dealing with setbacks. How? By their sense of purpose, and going for what they want.

Did you know that Thomas Edison’s teachers said he’d never amount to anything? He was fired a couple of times when he grew up because his bosses said he wasn’t a productive employee. But he never gave up; he was never discouraged by failure. He persevered.

Live Inspired

Be inspired by your positive role model. Model their confidence, optimism, and tenacity – but don’t copy them; live your life, not theirs.

Imagine the kind of life you want to live and the person you want to become. Have a vision for your life. Use your role models’ successes and failures to come up with new and better ways to do something.

Conclusion

Finding a positive role model isn’t easy. Remember that you don’t have to know them personally to admire them or be inspired by their courage, honesty, and discipline.

Be encouraged and inspired by their experiences when facing life’s ups and downs. Channel their self-confidence and determination.  But then blaze your own path as you unlock your best life.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

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